Human Doings
You know how some days you get heaps done and feel great about life? Well I’m having one of those today.
I will be the first to admit that these are an endangered species in my life so I truly try to suck every bit of enjoyment out of them when they do occur.
But when I try to analyse why I’m having a great day (because I am the type who cannot just enjoy something, but must dissect it in the great cause of “learning”) it is hard.
Is it because I ate a big sensible breakfast (yoghurt, peaches and musli)?
Is it because I have the most adorable cats in the world and spent 5 minutes playing with them before work?
Is it because I love wearing fluro orange overalls and driving an enormous ute?
Possibly all of the above. But what consistently comes up when I analyse this unicorn of a great day, is that I got heaps done. I have a planner at work, and prioritise my workload and I actually managed to get all the top priority work done by lunch and could spend the afternoon sorting out the lower priority stuff. I got things done!
And this drive to achieve and to tick things off my list is huge for me. And I feel great when I do tick things off my list. But what happens when I can’t tick stuff off, when circumstances outside of my control mean I can’t complete something or achieve? I plummet. I have a “bad day”. I eat a whole packet of chocolate biscuits and a family sized bag of chips in despair. And so often things outside of my control do happen, and do mean that I can’t get stuff done when I want to get it done. Somehow my emotional wellbeing is wrapped up in my achievements. This can’t be healthy.
My aunty Susan once said “Kara you have to remember you are a human being, not a human doing”. Then she laughed for ages because she had implied I was a poo. But she had a point. She is great at “being”, she is laid back and laughs and enjoys people. She has random people staying at her house and her kids bring their friends over just to hang out. She also dresses like a hippy and once answered the door in only her undies terrifying a boy who had come to visit her daughter, which to me symbolises her way of just being whoever she is, wearing whatever she is wearing at the time. But I'm sure it really pissed her daughter off.
I am terrible at “being”. I like to do. I am definitely Martha in the story who is quietly getting shitty in the kitchen while she cooks and prepares and her sister is just sitting at Jesus feet hanging out. I have always been annoyed at that bible story. Someone had to cook dinner and clearly Mary was not gonna help at all. But the moral of the story seems to be that just “being” with Jesus was more important than “doing” something for Jesus (cooking his dinner).
Which puts me in a quandary. So doing good works is good… but being with Jesus may be even better? Is this still true today or was it only relevant when Jesus was actually a human being walking on earth?
Or was it the fact that Martha was getting shitty about the doing while Mary was getting refreshed and filled by being with Jesus that matters?
All I can come up with is this:
Jesus didn’t visit these guys every day, maybe it was more important to spend time just being with him because tomorrow Mary would still be able to make dinner, but she wouldn’t have the chance to hang out with him in person?
In our modern and exciting (ha!) lives maybe it is important still to spend time simply “being” with God. Maybe even subconsciously I have recognised this and that is why I am drawn to churches who include silence in their services, where I can just ”be” in the presence of God. And Maybe by “being” with God I can actually find out what he is wanting me to “do”.
I suspect that both doing and being are important for Christians really. Being with God in some way (reading the bible, praying, sitting in silence, singing in church, seeing him in nature) helps us to centre ourselves and remember who we really are. Then from that place of truly knowing ourselves and our God we can truly know what we are to do when we are in the doing part.
How terrible would it be to spend your life doing things for God (missionary work, nursing the sick, feeding the poor) and then realise that wasn’t even what he really wanted you to be doing? What if he had something that only you could do, and you were so busy doing other things you missed the big thing?
I need to focus on “being” with God more, and “being” truly present when socialising with other people and that way, maybe what I focus on “doing” will be even better than before.
KG
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