Church: The Experience
Some lovely people have shared their experiences of church with me, which was wonderful & kind of them.
The general consensus from people who don’t normally go to church is that church was a place to go because someone talked them into it (or bribed them).
While at church they felt pressured to become a Christian, were told they would go to hell and felt like the people at church were so 100% convinced that their viewpoint was right that they would not discuss anything else.
This is a horrible picture. No wonder one of my closest friends said that while she considers herself to be a spiritual person, she prefers to pray in her own way, in her own time – without the church getting involved.
My advice to anyone who feels pressured, judged or like a Christian won’t listen to you. Don’t hang out with that Christian. Find a new one!
My experience of church is a little different, but then I came into church as a child and the assumption all churches make is that I obviously agree with all their beliefs. So no one has ever felt like they need to “convert” me so I have probably missed out on some awkward conversations.
My experience is that churches are full of people who deeply believe the bible. They want to do right, to love other people and to follow Jesus’s teaching. There are some wonderful people in churches.
But there are also some ignorant people (people have issues), and unfortunately it tends to be the loudest more ignorant people who get heard the most (and tell strangers that they are going to hell).
But what happens when even the nice people start getting really dogmatic and hurtful to a new comer? I think that quite often it is because when someone disagrees with them they feel like it is a personal attack, and they attack right back (whilst feeling sure they are in the right).
It takes a very secure person to cope well with disagreement, to let the newcomer express their opinions and then calmly say “well I hadn’t thought about it like that before. Have you considered this though?”.
A lot of churches have core beliefs that are decided by head office and are part of the foundation of the church itself. So when these are questioned it can be really scary for a church. If that is wrong (or universally questioned), then the foundation of that church would crumble, or at least that is how the person can feel. So quite often they respond in anger, thinking their very church existence is under attack.
My personal belief is that the only way someone will change their minds about something spiritual is if they experience something themselves. To put it another way, I think God has to change someone’s mind. For both Christians and non-Christians.
For example if I think a Christian has a wrong belief the bible, I will never be able to argue him into agreeing with me. But I can point out my side gently, and just go ahead and expect that if God thinks it's important, God will somehow work on that Christian (after all they are meant to be in a relationship with him).
For non-Christians the only thing I can do is explain my point of view, listen to theirs and be really open to considering new ideas. If I am not open to listening and trying to understand their ideas, how can I possibly expect them to be open or listen to mine? If someone is looking for answers I do truly believe they will end up with God, and it’s not my job to force that. It’s Gods.
As a Christian I do believe that churches have a role to play in helping me to grow my faith. The reasons I am trying to find a church base rather than go it alone are:
People need encouragement. In a church we are meant to encourage each other and lift each other up.
It’s good to explore the bible with others, to get a different view point, to see something we may have missed earlier.
We can learn from each other and grow from hearing about other people’s experiences.
Worship (the singing part usually) is more powerful and feels like so much more when it’s in a group. Personally group worship helps me connect with God.
As a group we can make more difference in the world and our community. As a group we have more resources to help people, and a church should do this!
The bible encourages us to gather together in Jesus name.
In the bible it says that “as iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend” (that’s the New Living Translation – Proverbs chapter 27, verse 17). So a Christian on their own will get “blunt”. I think it means they will start to only see things one way and will end up less effective as a Christian, less able to communicate with the outside world and completely unable to share their views without alienating other people.
Once again I think diversity is key here, if everyone in a church thinks exactly the same way about everything, they will not sharpen each other, they will just reinforce that they are right and should never listen to anyone else!
When Christians gather together it is meant to be so we all can consider new view-points, discuss ideas and between us come to a deeper understanding of God. That way we get sharper spiritually and I know I need this.
KG
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